I have news that I want to tell everyone and keep to myself at the same time. The split between wanting recognition and being content in the shadows is one I’ve dealt with all my life because I make art to make connections and delve into ideas - not for fame or fortune.
In fact right now after this long difficult year where my work only existed in my head, I just completed my new video installation, and because the space was somewhat inaccessible, it was only seen by a few interested and adventurous people. And although it was a crazy amount of work and effort, the truth is I love the process. I know in the end the work will teach me something that nothing else can.
But I regret that while I’ve always been bold in making my work, I have not always been resolute in getting it out beyond my direct experience. Content to create, learn, move on - in many ways I’ve let the work down. It deserves better, like a bigger audience. Night after night alone in my studio during the pandemic I swore I would do better.
Then recently after days of frustration & doubt, I woke up to this email: “You have been selected for the Illinois Arts Council 2021 Artist Fellowship Award in Media Arts.” So big for me I actually did a double take. As one who happily makes work in what can seem like the middle of nowhere, this is an amazing recognition that seems to say ‘try a bigger stage’. So thank you IACA for the support, recognition, and especially the nudge.
> and because I never truly work alone, special thanks to: Al, Anna, Kara, Sara, Chuck, Brian K, Mark, Mike, Dan, Tom, Brian F, Bev, Jen, Josh, Eric, Ken, Alissa, Jan, Della, Lisa, Spencer, Susan, Julie, Uncle Ted, Sarah, Mary, Mom, and Dad. 💫